In 2018, I told myself that I was going to say “yes.” My friend asked me to go paragliding. I said yes — without googling what it was. I’ve had carsickness ever since. Another friend asked me to join a burlesque troupe — even though I was extremely shy and had no formal dance training — and I said yes.
And, I was scared shitless.
After my first performance, though, I fell in love with the art. For the first time, being seen didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I felt powerful.
The takeaway: You don’t need to be confident to start. Confidence comes through doing.
Since Facebook stalks our every move, shortly after that first show, I was shown an ad about burlesque play auditions. Once again, I said “yes.”
As I write this, I realize that was very “Generator” of me #HumanDesign.
As a kid, I wanted to be an actress. I’d repeat the actors’ lines during commercials and TV shows. Fast forward many, many years later, I saw the burlesque theatre ad and figured auditioning would be a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I knew I wouldn’t get a role, because I sucked. But, I was saying “yes,” remember?
The takeaway: Reconnect with what you loved doing as a child. It’s a fun way to explore who you were before you were told who you had to be.
While auditioning, I met a woman who gave me her agent’s contact information. I hadn’t asked for it. She just gave it to me.
The audition was tiring but definitely fun. It was a mix of choreography and acting. I went in thinking I sucked. And, I left thinking the same. But, to my surprise, I got a role in all three shows they were casting for.
The takeaway: Play, when the stakes are low (I had nothing to lose, as I wasn’t trying to get a role), enables you to think creatively and learn new skills. When we play, endogenous opioids are released in the brain. Those endogenous opioids bring us into a relaxed state. That state of “dopeness” enables the prefrontal cortex to get smarter. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that controls creativity.
Had I been hyper-focused on getting the roles (thus flooding my brain with epinephrine and adrenaline — which are not conducive to flexible thinking), I believe the outcome would have been very different.
In a state of confusion, I accepted the roles, and I had a blast. I got even more comfortable on stage. So, with that newfound confidence (not necessarily in my skills, but in my ability to learn), I contacted the agent mentioned above. And, that agent put me in contact with other agents too. I was asked to audition for a Korean Drama. I recorded a video, sent it to the agent, who sent it to the stakeholders, and I got the role.
This Canadian girl was cast as an American CEO.
A month ago, after telling my story on Instagram, someone commented that they’d seen the show on Netflix. Once again, I was shook. I’m on Netflix. I’m in three episodes of a show that is on Netflix.
While I am no Angela Basset, I recognize that I can continue to grow as an actress.
Recap:
Our brains are plastic. We can learn new skills.
“Sucking” is too vague. Get clear on what it is you’d like to work on and build on those skills. With clarity, you realize that what you may lack in skills can be figured out.
“When in doubt, do.” Confidence comes through doing.
Saying yes to new experiences can be scary — especially when you are under chronic stress. But, on the other side is growth and new connections.
Reconnect with the things you enjoyed doing as a child.
Play is good for your brain.
So, that’s the story behind how I was cast in a Korean Drama. I wouldn’t feel so comfortable being fully me if I hadn’t said yes to experiences that stretched me.
My name is Erockfor, and I’m a showgirl, teacher and creativity coach. I help “corporate artists” return to their creative practice with the confidence of a showgirl through a 7-step process.